Given the intense bond we share with our animals, it’s natural to feel devastated by feelings of grief and sadness when a pet passes away.
While some people may not understand the depth of feeling you had / have for your pet, we should never feel guilty or ashamed about grieving for an animal friend, a family member. The memories live on so it's never "goodbye", I prefer to feel it as "till we see each other again".
Each of one our pets are incredibly special to us but every once and a while you meet one who changes everything you thought you were, they take your breath away. That is exactly how I felt, how I still feel, about my Pete, a Basenji-Corgi mix.
I rescued Pete when he was 9 years old, a survivor of abuse, scarred from life, afraid, and ill. But his perseverance, his deep desire to be loved affected me deeply. I met Pete and immediately knew. Shortly after adoption he developed an incurable auto immune disease called
IMHA
and I dedicated the rest of Pete's life to researching the disease, supporting fundraising to find a cure, and to making him as comfortable and happy as I could. It was a long struggle and finally after 3 years, on New Years' Eve 2013, I knew he couldn't fight anymore and I made the difficult decision to put him to sleep. I was devastated. I questioned if I had done enough, if he knew how much I loved him, if he forgave me for what I couldn't fix. At the same time I felt relief that he was finally at peace and an incredible associated guilt.
It took a full year to get accept the emotional loss and even today when I see photos of Pete I cry, but now I cry for the times we shared, for how loved I am confident he knew he was. Just months before Pete passed our Vet actually cleared Pete, the disease was in check, and he was expected him to enjoy a long life. But IMHA is a tricky devil and that diagnosis was quickly overturned.
I have sadly said "till we meet again" to many dogs over the years and each time I felt the heartache, but Pete taught me so much more about myself and about he depths of grief and the dangers if we do not deal with it appropriate.